Disclaimer: Ed Sheeran's music and Tarla Dalal's recipe are not responsible for the end result on this page.
Ingredients for Background Music:
- Youtube - Ed Sheeran songs
- Good internet connection and enough downloadable data
Ingredients for Masala (copied from the recipe site):
- 1 1/2 cups finely chopped onions
- 1/4 cup unsalted peanuts , roasted and coarsely crushed
- 1/4 cup freshly grated coconut
- 4 tsp chilli powder
- 3 1/2 tbsp tamarind (imli) pulp
- 2 tbsp grated jaggery (gur)
- 1/2 tsp turmeric powder (haldi)
- 1 tbsp garam masala
- 1 tbsp finely chopped coriander (dhania)
- 1 tsp oil (optional)
- salt to taste
Ingredients for the main dish (copied from the recipe site):
- 8 small brinjals , black variety
- 1 tbsp oil
- 1/2 tsp mustard seeds ( rai / sarson)
- 1/4 tsp asafoetida (hing)
What (not) to do:So, you're back home a bit delayed and guess what? You feel like eating eggplant. So you look up the recipes online (where else!) and come across this promising recipe site: https://goo.gl/CEJbzO.
And you start with what so far seems to be a verrrry yummy dish!
Part 1 of "What (not) to do"):
- Take your laptop to the kitchen, keep it at a safe place.
- Open Ed Sheeran songs in Youtube, let them run in the background.
- Reach out for onions, realise today is the last day of Navratri and decide to do without them.
- Roast and coarsely crush 1/4 cup of unsalted peanuts.
- Grate 1/4 cup coconut, all the while feeling good about how great this is going to turn out.
- Take 2 tsp chilli powder instead of 4 (on hindsight, take only one or none!)
- Keep aside 3.5 tbsp tamarind pulp.
- Search frantically around for jaggery, realise that you do not have jaggery at home, settle for 2 tbsp of Boora sugar instead.
- Keep aside 1.5 tsp of turmeric powder and 1tbsp of garam masala.
- Look closely at the coriander that you thought was lying in the kitchen, realise it is mint and decide to go for it anyway.
- Oil is optional, ditch it.
- Take 1 tsp of salt (as per your taste)
- Mix all of the above except your laptop and Ed Sheeran songs.
Part 2 of "What (not) to do":
- Open the refrigerator to find that you do not have 8 small eggplants, but 2 medium sized ones! Shake your head and go for one medium sized one.
- Make criss cross slits on this one (watch out for tiny worms - shouldn't be there! If you're a non-vegetarian, carry on regardless.)
- Stuff the single baingan with as much of Part 1 of "What (not) to do" as you can. Leave the rest of the mix aside.
- Heat oil in a pan and add mustard seeds and once they start crackling, add asafoetida and the rest of the masala mix. Sauté this on a medium flame for a minute.
- Add the stuffed brinjal and instead of 1/3 cup of hot water as suggested on the site, add 1 cup of water at normal temperature.
- Mix gently and pressure cook on high flame for 3 whistles.
- Let this cool (instead of using the quick release method to release steam as suggested) and work on paranthas!
Paranthas (Flat bread):
- Take two cups of wheat flour in a bowl and add a little water to it. Mix using your hands.
- Realise you put in too much water, add more dry flour to the container.
- Repeat steps 1 and 2 as many times as required.
- Once the dough is more or less consistent, add a little salt and little water and knead to give the dough a good finish. Yes, giving a good finish is realistic.
- Make two small tennis balls out of the dough, flatten and roll them out (One at a time please!)
- Spread a little oil on the top side of the rolled-out-previously-tennis-ball-shaped-dough and fold it twice.
- Roll it out to the length you like best, keeping the size of your frying pan in mind.
- Once the pan is hot, put the rolled out parantha on it, dab a little oil on both sides and let it cook till dark brown spots appear on both sides.
- Take down the parantha once it looks well cooked. Repeat the procedure for the other tennis ball.
- Important: Do not make more than 2 paranthas, if you're having this as your dinner.
Procedure to eat:
- Clean the kitchen to ensure that there is no evidence left of your deeds.
- Plate the paranthas and the baingan sabzi nicely. It should at least look appetising (see picture).
- Sit down to eat, take a bite, ignore the fact that your ears are on fire and chew slowly.
- Decide to eat only one parantha.
- Finish the food and convince yourself it was yummy.
- Keep dishes in sink, rush to the refrigerator, dish out half the bar of ice-cream in any (at this moment it doesn't matter which!) vessel.
- Eat your dessert and be happy about the happy ending! :)
Important: Remember you are a decent cook and that you have intentionally exaggerated things "a bit" at your own expense while creating this post. :D